Barista Wednesdays: An Office Unfiltered
Barista Wednesdays: An Office Unfiltered
Secrets brewed, not spoken.
Something is off today. After a busy morning, I am just getting ready for a relaxing afternoon when I notice the buzz approaching my room. Before I realize what’s happening, people start coming in, all heavily engaged in conversations with each other. It is Barista Wednesday, so normally everyone should be outside after lunch. I glance through the window on my right. Where the barista’s coffee tricycle should be parked, all I can see are the gray cobblestones of the inner courtyard.
That’s odd. Especially given what a sunny day it is. My thermometer tells me it is twenty degrees outside! Why would the barista miss the year’s first onslaught of our sun-starved employees, who craved nothing more after lunch than the magic pouring out of the fancy Italian portafilter machine? A loss for him, a win for me.
I have to be honest with you: I’m always a bit emotional on Wednesdays. On the one hand, I enjoy some peace here, with people getting their coffee outside. Nobody pushing my buttons. But simultaneously I have to admit I miss overhearing them talking about what’s happening across the office.
This is by far the best spot in the whole building to really know what’s going on. Company newsletters and town halls pale in comparison. No higher level of candor exists than when two people pour out their professional hearts over a shared cup of coffee. I’m telling you, the things I had to listen to in my four years here. Phew! How unfair the salary is. That some coworkers are doing it loudly in the basement’s bathroom every Friday happy hour. How capitalism will eat us alive. Why 1on1s with George are the worst. Why 1on1s with Sybil are the best. How a cup a coffee is their savior.
Sometimes I have to wonder if this office would still stand without my interventions. I won’t lie, it makes me proud that the obvious answer is ‘no it wouldn’t’.
The first group of people is approaching me, with Marcus leading the pack. Aww, Marcus! My favorite employee. He always touches me so gentle. I hardly feel him when he swipes his fingers across me, his push so soft that I couldn’t tell what he wants unless I knew him so well already. And it’s not just the physical interactions with him. Marcus is the kindest, most positive person in the whole building. One of the few employees who never has something negative to say. More refreshing than even the coldest milk from the fridge.
I know I shouldn’t have any favorites, and serve all employees equally. But hey, nobody will ever know. It’s not like I will proudly declare my love for Marcus publicly on my tiny screen. My cabling vibrates as I chuckle into my inner hull. If the people knew how funny I am.
Marcus’ athletic body stops right in front of me. While I prepare his oat milk cappuccino, I slowly scan him from toe to head. My gaze finally rests on his face that seems to be distorted by a mix of sadness and anger. Something terrible must have happened if even Marcus lost his positivity. Maybe the barista was shot? I’ve overheard one woman from Product say that crime rates are going up in the city.
If I could just ask Marcus what’s wrong with him. The last technician - who had no clue what he was doing - mumbled something about ‘The new ones can just tell me what’s wrong with them. Hope the company will upgrade this one soon’. Back then, his comment had made my tubes and pipes tighten up, but now I too wished for the ability to speak.
After I finish pouring the cappuccino, Marcus picks it up carefully with his muscular fingers, and steps away. Finally, I can catch a few words from the group’s conversation. The woman right behind Marcus is speaking. It’s Greta from Marketing, her hands flowing hysterically in all directions, her high-pitched voice tingling through every bolt and nut in my body. I’m getting so agitated that I accidentally start using soy milk for her almond milk flat white. Too late. I hope she won’t notice.
‘We have to do something guys. They can’t just take the barista away from us and make us drink the stuff from this coffee machine. It’s part of our perks!’
With her condescending tone as usual, I’m kind of glad that I’m pouring the wrong milk into her flat white. Payback for all the times she complained how I’m an affront to all coffee aficionados working at the company.
‘Seriously guys, it’s only downhill from here. I’ve seen it before. First it’s the barista, then the Christmas party, then it’s layoffs.’
If I could, I would shudder with all this unnecessary drama. Come on Greta, it’s just a barista! Who didn’t even exist three months ago. I can’t help it, and blow off some steam. Bad timing!
The steam hits Greta’s hand as she is about to take her flat white. Startled by it, she drops the cup, and it shatters into a thousand pieces. Poor cup. It hadn’t been long with me yet. Luckily, I’ve given up on team building exercises with the cups, they come and go too quickly.
Greta’s head jerks angrily at me, her eyes wide open with her left one twitching rapidly, then turns back to the group.
‘You see? This coffee machine is a joke!’
She lets out a deep grunt and rushes away towards the restroom, leaving me with a tiny sense of satisfaction. I wish I could do more than just blow out steam and tell Greta the harsh truth about what I had heard the CFO say to the CEO late last night. She would shatter like the cup. Not only the barista, also the monthly Michelin chef sessions will be scrapped. Despite the company demonstrating record growth.
Well, we all know what is going to happen next. People will talk about nothing else all week, then the CEO will host a town hall to explain how it all connects to the overarching mission. After some initial grumbling, people will move on. As long as I stay around, one coffee intervention at a time, things will settle back to normal.
Tell me about another employee who has more impact than me?
Thought so. Now take your coffee and have a good day <3
My second piece of flash fiction with a fresh perspective on the modern workplace. Let me know in the comments what you think about it, and if you enjoyed it please share it with someone who needs some entertaining distraction ;)
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Had to smile on "I gave up on team building with the cups long ago". 😄